I remember feeling low
I remember losing hope
Lately I've been tired on making this happy face to everyone even though I'm not. I'm tired of acting blithe when I can feel the tension exuding out of everyone. I am mostly tired of being nice whenever you people need something from me. So when you want something only then you act cool around me?
It is seriously pissing me off this pass few week. How many times do I have to tell you, if there is something you are not satisfied with me, all you got to do is tell me. Is that so hard? But no, you people have to play this little puerile game of silence. God what are you? In 3rd grade?
Sometimes I feel like letting go and fucking off because I can't stand it. Sometimes I feel like I'm better off with my best friends who are more matured and open minded than all of you combine. At least they have the dignity to tell me things they don't like. They don't play the whole "cold shoulder game."
I stopped believing in best friends for a while because everytime I do find one, they always end up turning me down at the very end because they learned who I really am. And the stupid thing is, they didn't have the guts to turn me face to face.
Sometimes I applaud that bisexual whore because she told me in her own lucid words that she had enough of me. We ended our friendship professionally. We still hate each other now but at least we now why it ended. We ended our friendship on a clean slate.
I started believing in friendship when Zoey came back into my life. After all the things that happened between the us, we were willing to let go and make up. That is how a true friend should be, someone you had a huge fight with but in the end you can make up and be closer than you were before.
I don't know but I never thought Zoey would take me back. Our fight was based on something bigger than my bitchiness. Our fight involved boyfriends, malicious rumors and people from other schools. It was not your average petty feud. But still we were both able to put everything behind us. Part of the things that pushed us to be freinds again was the departure of that bisexual whore. She was one of the cause why we fought in the first place. When she left, there was no one to feed us both poison anymore.
I didn't give up on you people because deep down inside, I still love all of you and I still have unforgettable memories with you guys that I don't have the heart to bury because I don't have much happy memories anyway.
Chou
Comments
when we grow up, we tend to move on each other. that's when the communication is lesser and misunderstanding grows bigger. and yeah, the friendship just ends. there.
sometimes we don't know what people think of us. we can't find the wrong in ourselves as to why they hate us so much. and you know some people have problems in spitting out. they tend to love gossipping more and keep it from telling the person up straight. that's when ugly fights take place.
remember that those who are real will come back and will never go away. they'll stick up for us. they'll be there. and it doesn't matter if u never talk much or go out often, that does not decide that you guys are best friends or not.
cheer up ;)