Freedom, Sadness & The True Meaning of Friendship

High school is over and I'm not happy.

This blog is dedicated to all my friends.

So when the invidulators took our last EST paper, I could feel the excitement from everyone. Slowly the voice started to rise and when the last paper was taken, the whole hall went into a frenzy. People were clapping, cheering and shouting. I on the other hand just sat on my wooden table and looked at all my excited friends for the last time. 

A smile never crossed my face when my EST paper was taken from me. It never crossed my face when everyone started cheering. It never crossed my face when I left the hall. It never crossed my face when we arrived at the canteen to started packing.

The first emotion that filled my face was when I hugged Leya and I started to cry. She is one of the greatest friends I have ever had and one of the most extraordinary people I have ever known. The memories of us joking and playing around during form 3 made me cry. We will most probably never see each other again and I feel like time isn't enough. Its like I wished I had spent more time with her. 

I didn't cry over my classmates because I'm going to see them tomorrow. I didn't cry over my best friends because I'm gonna see them during prom. I was disappointed that I didn't meet Diba. Yes you Diba! You were the first person to make me realize that I have the gift of writing.  We both have such imaginative minds and we both have a love for words. I never told you this but I was so happy I met another creative thinker like you. When I first got to know you last year, I was like "Hey a girl with the same mind as me! I'm not alone!"

Some of the best people I know were the ones I discovered in form 4 and 5 and it feels like I didn't get enough time with you guys. I would want to get to know you better and spend more time with you. Now all of us are going our separate ways. We're all diving into a new world.

Before I went down the stairs at the canteen, I turned around and took one last good look at our school. The worst and best years of my life were spent in CBN. I never liked high school because some people made my life miserable in form 2 and 3. When I entered form 4, I didn't expect any excitement. But because I was in a new class with new people, there was some hope for happiness.

I met some amazing people in the past 2 years. Mira, Nysh, Jiah, Alin, Hanan, Fifa, Diba, Syaf, Rafa, Tess and DQ changed my world. You guys really did that. You guys stood by me when some people were against me. You still wanted to be my friend even though you were uncomfortable with my bitchiness. You guys showed me that true friendship does exist and I am so grateful for that. I wish I got to know you guys way back in form 1. Because my friends in form 1 turn their backs against me. Yes, my choice of friends back then consist of skanks and whores. 

So I just want to say thank you. Thank you for accepting me for who I truly am. Thank you for supporting me through the hard times. Thank you for the laughter and fun. Thank you for the wonderful memories. Thank you for showing me the true meaning of friendship. Thank you for making my high school years a memorable one. 

I love you guys.

Chou